Here We Go....

Decided for a far more fun post this week. Just wanted to throw some things that have been in my mind out there.

• February is A) a really hard month to spell...I mean seriously who ever heard of the u before a rule? B)The shortest month..which is awesome because that means March gets here quicker. 3)The month billions of roses die.

• So I've been thinking about the incredible hulk recently. In the movies/comics, bruce banner's wife is the only person who can talk him out of Hulk state back into his real persona. I think this is unrealistic. Really? The person you spend all your time with is ALWAYS going to get you less angry? Wonder what fights in that household are like.

• My birthday is coming up...in March. Did I mention February is a really slow month. I hope i get something awesome.
  

Opening Up

Relationships...Friendships...Acquaintanceships(that's a real word right?). All of these revolve around being real and opening up to another person. The struggle for me has not been finding people to talk to. My struggle has not been finding people who will open up to me. Rather my struggle is opening up to others. I'm struck with this fear that if others saw me I would not be accepted.

Rob talked on Sunday about the thought of man's dependence upon relationships with man. That God has inherently created within us a desire to be with other people. But i think it goes much deeper than that. The verse Rob used was Genesis 2:18: Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” I think this verse is bigger than friends...i think its bigger than people in your life. I think what this verse points to is a longing for companionship. A person who you share your life with. Everything. That one close friend who always walks beside you.

For many years in my life this need was filled in me by my best friends. Guys who I hung out with everyday quite literally. Right now I seem to have lost this. Sure I have some amazing friends(shout out to my CG peeps Sean, Casey, and Meghan), but I have yet to find what i consider true companionship. Someone who is like a brother or a sister to me.

Sometimes I feel like i'm living the song stain glass masquerade by casting crowns:

"So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them"

Rubik's Cube

I can solve Rubik's Cubes. This is the direct result of a 1.5 hour bus ride to and from high school for 4 years. There are tons of different ways the Rubik's Cube can be scrambled. However, the way to fix it is always the same. There is a set of patterns that I can always use to always fix the cube back into position.

Sometimes, I try to treat my life like a Rubik's Cube. No matter the position i try to use the same fixes for different situations. I'm not sure this is the best. As I thought more, I realized that I'm not put in cookie cutter situations that have generic answers. Each situation..each trial...is specifically for me and for a certain purpose. When I realize this it makes it more imperative that I stay still and calmly wait for an answer to be shown to me.

Calender It Up

So some big things coming up on the calender that I wanted to make note of for myself:

January 14th-I will be going to see Anberlin and Circa Survive perform at the national in Richmond. SHould be a good show. Will be my first time seeing Anberlin live.

Febuary 14th-Single's Awareness Day!!!-my absolutely least favorite holiday that we celebrate.

March 14th- My Birthday!!! Probably the best Holiday we celebrate. Also known as PI day(3.14 get it?) I share my bday with Albert Einstein....now if i only shared the intelligence.

March 20th-I'll be hitting up the RED acoustical experience before winter Jam at the Scope. Basically I get to Meet the band, get a FREE ticket to WinterJam and get to go in the doors EARLY with the band. Get a free poster, get pictures, autographs AND a free acoustic show ON THE BUS.

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Now that that's done on to the blog post proper. Something that has been going through my mind is that i wish asking someone on a date didn't have all the social ramifications associated with it. While I'm alright with being rejected by a girl, what really sucks is knowing that if she does reject you that the level of friendship you currently share will never be the same again. I'd say this singular thought has paralyzed me most with my dating or lack thereof.

conversations.

so yes i am totally blogging this from my phone. anywho this one will be short and simple. i love having conversations. they can be funny,intellectual, spiritual, or just inane, i love them all. ive been having some really awesome conversations of recent with a good friend. one thing that was noted is that personal communication is better than group communication bc it is more focused. this really spoke truth into my spiritual life. doesnt god also desire one on one personal communication with us? yes group communication such as church or cg sees god doing work, but i firmly believe that the most meaningful conversations we have with god are in our quiet time with him